Footsteps
by Spicers Apple
Summary: A retrospective centering on Konohamaru, after the death of his grandfather...well the Hokage. Just what kind of pain could a little boy like him go through? Would it change the view on his previously unaltered life?


_((I left before the funeral because I didn't want to have to say goodbye._

_It was the cowardly thing to do, but I kept thinking about the first time I looked into your eyes and saw forever waiting there._

_I was convinced that forever was still out there; After all, it lasts for an eternity.. But if I said goodbye to you, it would prove to be as ephemeral as a butterfly's touch, as fleeting as the chime of a bell. Forever would fade, eternity would vanish, and I would be alone._

_Because I did not want to admit that you would not be able to finish it yourself.))_

-Ameko

**I am trying to see**

**I'm trying to believe**

**This is not where I should be**

**I am trying to believe**

**No one's even sure**

**What we're fighting for**

**Or who we even are**

**Anymore**

**I feel..**

**So dead---**

-Trent Reznor

(A/N: This is a retrospective on Konohamaru, after the death of Sarutobi-sensei/kage/whatevergrandfather. I hate how everyone in the world hates the little squirt, so I had to "write my anger out" by doing this. Why don't you people like him? He's adorable)

//Enjoy!//

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_**"Footsteps"**_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_I stood there, waiting._

_I always knew you were the best of the best._

_You never failed me, no matter what._

_You always told me to never give up, to "Be strong and endure, untill you prevailed."_

_**...What ever happened to that?**_

-X-

_I walked out from my hiding place among the trees, smiling..but only for a minute._

_I'm not supposed to be here, but I am trying to understand what it meant..._

_I smiled as I thought about how easy it was for you to teach me exactly nothing, that it was __**that **__easy for you to just give up._

_He beat you with such ferocity and evil that you just... gave up ! 'What were you fighting for?' ...Nothing. You never saved anyone..._

_My smile quickly wavored into a quivering frown._

_'Stupid Grandpa. Stupid, __**stupid**__, foolish... Grandpa.' _

-X-

_You were my grandfather, I was your grandson, and nothing could change that--_

_---or the love I once had for you, your most endearing pupil.._

_I don't know what to do, or think; My earliest __**idol**__ has given up, so what should I do now?_

_...Now I cannot believe or take in my heart the values and morals you've taught me. They are now meaningless; worthless._

_From the very first time I saw you behind the desk, Hokage, I thought,_

_'I wanna be just like him, in every single way!'_

_...But to stay true to that, I would have to give up as well!_

_...I feel so dead. Alone, and nothing will ever change that._

_...I will never be Hokage. Ever. I don't want to __**ever**__ be like you, Grandpa. I hate you._

-X-

_I weep at your grave, but only because now, I cannot tell you how disappointed I am in you... for failing me._

_**And you never failed me.**_

_My only savior, the only one I could feel at ease talking to._

_...But then you'd say (if you were still here) , "There's always Naruto."_

_...But he's different, he'll never be you...Grandfather. __**Ever.**_

-X-

_'Why did you have to be so weak?' I smile again, mocking myself._

_"From now on, I'll pretend you have never existed. Everyone else will, too, at one point or another."_

_When I grow up, I won't be leader._

_...I'll be follower; aimlessly, and meaninglessly wallowing in your long-lost.. "footsteps"_

_..It's my final dream and wish; getting killed... gracelessly, on a mission..., that is what I __**truly**__ look forward to._

_**The great, valiant "Honorable Grandson", engraved in the stone.**_

_...At least it won't be the same way that your soul destroyed istelf._

_...I won't be Hokage !_

-X-

_...I will miss you, but to be exact, I'll miss __**trying to be better than you.**_

_And I will never forget those things you taught me; [Nothing_

_After today, I will hold no regrets_

_...Save one thing.._

_I regret holding any respect for you._

_You were weak, and that is all you have taught me to be._

_**"...Foolish Grandpa."**_


End file.
